Push. Heave. Ugh! Sweat. Tears. Exhaustion. 

Pushing is what must happen to birth a child. 

But there is also a time and a place for pushing.

To push for the sake of pushing can create insanity and overwhelm.

I know because I spent last year pushing way too hard in my business. 

And I am still exhausted.

Can you relate?

The support I received from my business mentor was all about taking action and pushing through.

Push through the resistance.
Push past the fear.
Push past and ignore the truth.
Just push.

So I pushed. I kept doing the things that didn't feel correct for me. I put myself out there, doing Facebook Lives and boosting ads.

It's really no surprise that I began burning out and Facebook banned my ad account.

It's in those moments that defeat comes up. Exhaustion leads to frustration which leads to beating ourselves up. We second guess our decisions. We believe we are not cut out for this work. We conclude that success is not for us - that it's only for everyone else.

But success IS for everyone of us.
It IS for me.
It IS for you.

As I move forward in my life, I often think back to my past. I find that the past controls more of my present and future than I ever really realized. 

The more I study and learn about the brain, heart coherence, and healing past emotional wounds, the more I call out and work through the tender pains of my past.

Summer is slowly winding down. I see that school is back in session for most families.

For my family, school actually starts at the end of the month.

This has me rethinking about what I desire in my life given all three of my children will now be in school. My husband is actually beyond ecstatic, more so than I am, because freedom looms in the distance.

Freedom of time, energy, and fulfillment of purpose. 

Oh how it is what we have wanted and it is about to happen. THIS month!

During the month of May, I watched this beautiful plant blossom. This gorgeous plant appeared right next to the stake and rock formation we placed as a memorial for our cat, Venice, who we buried just three months prior. The crazy thing is that we never planted this flowering beauty. She just appeared. I intuitively knew the color of the flowers before they presented themselves. I know Venice is with me in spirit, and now in this new, form. I felt called to reflect on this experience in the form of a letter to Venice below.

Dear Venice,

My sweet cat, I feel so blessed and supported. It calms me to see the beauty you now portray. 

And look at you! You radiate an exuberant prosperity purple!

It warms my heart to see that color, the color that stirs my spiritual and altruistic natures. You now exude this beauty for us to see and enjoy.

During April, I suffered the biggest cold I have had in quite a while. It felt big for me because I really was down and my body needed to sleep for almost a week. But it was just a cold. I was able to avoid doctors as usual. I had lovelies who gave me bone broth, and essential oils. My homeopathy remedies, Neti Pot solutions, and Reiki sessions assisted my body with healing. But healing just FELT slow. 

I feel like I run myself down quite often, even though one of my main focuses is taking it easy with work to avoid burnout and body breakdown.

Loss.

Loss of love, family, friends, money, support, health, well-being, stature, joy, empowerment, possessions, ability, job/career, business, house, relationships, community, competitions... is still LOSS.

It creates emotions, like sadness, frustration, disappointment, anger, indifference, rage, surprise, envy, bitterness, and so many more.

We all experience loss. We feel it, see it, endure it, and want to avoid it.

But can we really?