Reflection

The Blessings of Death

The Blessings of Death

I used to be fearful of losing a loved one. What I feared most was my reaction to that loss. Being an emotionally tribal person, relationships are important to me. Sometimes I have taken them for granted. Sometimes I have nurtured them too little. Ultimately, I care very deeply whether that love is expressed verbally, physically, or not. 

I have realized that my undefined Spleen holds on to things, including relationships, for longer than I should. I didn’t know how to say goodbye because I didn’t know how to let go while seeing the good in it. 

Until now. 

When my cat Venice died two years ago, I broke down. It took me a while to process her death and recover so that I could continue to live. [You can read the blog from that time HERE.] 

Because I didn’t handle it so well, I had been afraid of facing more death. I feared I wouldn’t know how to live.

Yet with losing Donna, one of my closest friends (and longest friend of over 30 years), I had to face that fear. Experiencing the loss of a human life was different. It felt so hard, so devastating, and so real.

I felt a deep sadness for what would never be in this life. I felt pain for the loss of a beautiful soul whose heart gave more than most without any hesitation. I felt anger for the family left behind, including two little girls. I felt remorse for not doing more, making more efforts, and being there for her.

I cried for at least a week. The lessons I learned were so profound to my evolution, and my healing. My heart was cracked wide open. I began to truly feel my emotional energy like never before. There was NO stopping the waves of emotions that burst from me. There was NO stopping the tears that flowed freely and passionately. 

Lessons in Letting Go: 2017 Reflections

Lessons in Letting Go: 2017 Reflections

2017 was a bit of a roller coaster ride for me. 

I was fortunate and blessed. My home still stands. Fires and floods happened outside of my area. I lost my cat Venice, but all other loved ones were safe and well.

I am grateful for the ups and downs of the ride. They taught me SO much. 

I had to let go of a lot of old beliefs, old thoughts, old emotional triggers, and even old friends. I gave away old items I still felt attached to so that I could create more healing space for myself.

Healing was paramount. It guided me to understand ME. It allowed me to see where to place my focus in my business. It gave me clarity about the struggles I was facing and what I am now here to overcome. 

I realized that I GET to rewrite the stories of my past. I GET to see where I was limiting myself and holding myself back from achieving BIG dreams.

Memoirs of 2016: How I Grew My Wings

Memoirs of 2016: How I Grew My Wings

I truly evolved in 2016. I learned so much. I grew so much. I found more of ME. I shared more of ME. I stepped into BEing ME and truly loving all of ME.

At the beginning of 2016, I was on a bit of a high. Life was good. Things were going well after having achieved so much in 2015. My husband and I hired a Financial Planner. We also hired a housecleaner. That was something we realized was worth spending our money on as it would free up our energy and relieve our stress load. This all happened only two weeks into the New Year.

Consciously, it was unexpected that I would ever consider quitting my job. Yet, one January afternoon as I sat listening to different online health summits at work, the Universe prodded me to reevaluate my reality. I was suddenly faced with a knowing that something was missing from my professional life.