2017 was a bit of a roller coaster ride for me.
I was fortunate and blessed. My home still stands. Fires and floods happened outside of my reach. I lost my cat Venice, but all other loved ones remained safe and well.
I am grateful for the ups and downs of the ride. They taught me SO much.
I had to let go of a lot of old beliefs, old thoughts, old emotional triggers, and even old friends. I gave away old items I still felt attached to so that I could create more healing space for myself.
Healing was paramount. It guided me to understand ME. It allowed me to see where to place my focus in my business. It gave me clarity about the struggles I was facing and what I am now here to overcome.
I realized that I GET to rewrite the stories of my past. I GET to see where I was limiting myself and holding myself back from achieving my BIG dreams.
I learned more about the energy patterns of my family and how those patterns have shown up in my life. I thought I had to be stuck in those patterns forever. I learned that I am still a young pup that can grow and change anything I am willing to change.
I learned how deeply self-trust was lacking inside of me. Through a psychic reading, I learned that at age 3 I began hiding my special abilities and gifts from the world. I had been told NO and to STOP; so I did. It was the moment I stopped trusting myself. I also learned that I stopped trusting others in elementary school, middle school, and high school. These old patterns were reflecting back to me through my healing work.
By not trusting, I had been making life harder for myself. I had created the belief that I had to do it alone, that no one, including the Universe, would support me. That I had to support me.
Wow, what a shitty belief to have, and it clearly was not serving me personally, professionally, or financially.
I am now learning to trust myself, others, and the Universe again. I am trusting that I am deeply supported. I am seeking those hidden gifts I possess. I know they are there. In fact, I have always known. Those gifts have been prodding me to seek a new path and to find my true inner alignment with abundance.
It's funny how when I first started Prosperity Alignment, I was given the insight that I am a "Wealth Healer". I KNEW that, but instead, I listened to everyone else telling me that I couldn't say that - that no one will GET what that is. So it went on the back burner and I tried to convey my message and my abilities in a way that didn't feel correct for me.
The truth is I realized in 2017 that by listening to others, I am NOT trusting myself. It was the pattern I had created and it especially affected me in my business. I made the choice to listen inwardly to my heart and to my inner knowingness that I am a healer. I heal people on the mental and emotional body levels. It is what I am really good at and it is what I love to do.
2017 was the year where I realized my true inner powers. I also realized I was no longer okay with believing the lies I had created during my lifetime. I connected more deeply with my heart. I serve as an ambassador for the Global Coherence Initiative. I teach others to connect more deeply to the truth and love within their own hearts. I have stepped more deeply into the healer that is innately ME.
Knowing ME is a beautiful thing. It allows me to be more responsive. I acknowledge myself and all the feelings that come up so I can understand them. I guide myself to listen and take the time I need to be at peace with my choices.
I choose to accept that I am unique and different. I am intuitive and divinely guided. More importantly, I am a POWERFUL LEADER no longer hiding behind a veil.
I continued to prioritize my family by having work fit into my life. I still struggled with gaining the clients I truly desired but I realized I had more clarity to gain around my purpose and my message. I also had more of my own healing work to do before I could fill my plate with healing others.
My business reached the one year milestone in May. I continued to grow and evolve my creativity through my business, but it was tough and emotionally exhausting in the second half of the year.
At the end of the year, I learned more about Numerology. I foresee this knowledge as a guide to use personally and not so much professionally, but it is a tool that could cross over. Anyway, as it turns out 2017 was a personal "9" year for me. I didn't know that until it was too late.
What that meant is that it truly was a year of LETTING GO of the old so I could make ways for the next 9-year cycle. I was not supposed to initiate or create anything new. So for all the brilliant ideas and programs I created in my business, I was not meant to share them with the world yet. It is why when I launched my creations, the Universe answered back with "Sorry, not sorry but this is not gonna happen". I understand now why I had to experience the pains of pushing and "doing" too much to only feel like a failure, again and again.
But it taught me to trust. It showed me what did work for me and what did not. It taught me to listen to my intuition and to STOP giving my power away to everyone else who "knew" better than me.
I also learned who my true people are. As a Projector who wants to heal and guide the world, I truly realized that not everyone SEES me and that it is okay. I am here to guide those who see me. If you are here, you may actually see me. For most others, they are not my people or my clients - YET. They may see me in the future and when they do, we can build a relationship at that time. In the meantime, I am here to share my value, my wisdom, and my inspiration with those who seek it. I am here to plan and create while waiting for the invitations that will come from my people. It's a beautiful realization. I now feel more at peace with that knowledge.
2017 is the year that my sweet twins, Hazel and Hunter, started their first year of primary school at MVM, a Montessori school. It was definitely a dream that came true for us - at a high investment - and totally worth it. Our family's obligations were met, although financially, it felt very tight. We learned to cut back even more to live on the support of my husband's disability income.
Having all three children in school, freed up my husband, Mike, to rest and recover and to begin seeking social aspects. I learned to work a bit more efficiently. I also learned to put away the computer more often than I did in 2016. I implemented more self-care than ever before. I learned to live more heart-centrically and with so much more gratitude for ALL things, good and bad. I learned to implement the BALANCE I intended to create in 2017. I felt more in flow with feeling good and following my intuition.
By the end of 2017, I received many comments from women in my workout class that I looked really good. They had noticed that I had slimmed down and were curious if it was just from attending class. The truth is I didn't change much of what I do physically for exercise or by the foods I consumed. I simply realized there is more to health and wellness than just focusing on the physical form.
I chose to care for myself as I do for my clients - by working on my spiritual, mental, and emotional bodies. The more secure and at ease I feel in my life, the more my physical body self-regulates itself. I listened to my body and what it needed. I have never chosen a diet approach because I know there is more to wellness than listening and trusting someone else knows my body best. The only diet I chose in 2017 was to lose the negative thoughts and to focus on healing the dormant wounds that arose after being triggered.
A trigger is something that sets off an inner warning alarm inside of you. It's like someone pulled the trigger on a gun and now you are reacting instantly and unconsciously. Someone says something to you and suddenly your blood is either boiling, or flushing you red from embarrassment. Those are the moments to reflect on. Why did you get upset? What was said that caused you to feel embarrassed?
The truth is it is never the other person you should be mad at. They are just the messenger bringing the lesson to you so you can either choose to welcome it and learn from it, or continue to react in a disempowering way. It is the perfect opportunity to pause to understand why you are feeling those feelings. What is triggering inside of you and causing this deep, irritable reaction? When you can understand the reaction, you can bless it, forgive it, and heal it. You can stop the pattern and rewrite it in your brain. It is a powerful way to heal because the next time a similar situation occurs, the trigger is gone.
Yes, it can be exhausting healing triggers. Triggers are everywhere! Every time they showed up for me, I knew it was a chance for me to learn, heal, and change my old stories and patterns of the past. It was a chance to shift my perspective and my reactions to come from a place of love, compassion, kindness, grace, and courtesy. The more toxic thoughts I released from my mind, the more my physical body healed and dropped weight effortlessly. It wasn't diet and exercise results my body reflected, it was the inner healing I completed during the year.
My deep desire for each of us is to be free from old haunting traumas and to simply just BE. Be who you are. Be expressive. Be authentic. Be happy. Be the power you are meant to be. Be responsive. Be deeply aligned. Be healed.
Overcome the deep guilt, shame, resentment, jealousy, bitterness, frustration, anger, disappointment, impatience, indecision, inflexibility, humiliation, reluctance, criticism, need to punish yourself, negative reactions, not feeling worthy or lovable, so you can FEEL alive again. IT IS POSSIBLE.
Accept yourself. Trust. Have faith. Say yes to what YOU want so the Universe can say yes to YOU. Love yourself. Listen to your intuition. Have fun!
It is a brand new year. Anything is possible. 2018 is the Universal Year Eleven, a master number, that has happened only twice since 1910. It is a year full of potentials for growth, learning, and big transformations.
I wonder, what will you choose to create this year?
May your values and intuition guide you along the path to abundance. May you listen to the truth held within your heart so you know what feels correct for YOU. May this year bring you your deepest desires in a powerful yet peaceful way.
Blessings for an abundantly transformational year!
With love and gratitude,
Alana